Alice Cooper Won't Shut Up!

Remember that scene in Richard Linklater's 1993 masterpiece Dazed and Confused when the school year finally ends in anonymous town Texas in 1976? You know, the final bell rings, kids throw their books at their teachers, paper suddenly blasts off into the air as if struck by two sticks of dynamite, the school doors stay ajar as moppy-haired kids wearing polo shirts and bell bottoms leap and scream in delight at the potential of freedom provided by three months off for summer break. Remember that? Well, that's not at all what it's actually like.
And I wonder if it ever, indeed, was ever like that scene. A sudden explosion of excitement and of cavalier disrespect for the custodial staff of the school. I doubt it. No, as a teacher, I've learned that the last day of school is a long and protracted event, anticlimactic even, designed to squeeze and twist all potential of vandalism and youthfulness from potential students. The first graders are even strip searched on their way into school this day, just in case any of them decided to sneak in M80s in their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And the fifth and sixth graders, the class I teach? Oh, man. They're systematically and mentally beaten until they nearly lose their very will to live.

Actually, none of this happens, of course, but I am feeling that the last day of school (as I type this, it's tomorrow, and it's a half day...for the students, a full day for the staff) is turning out to be kind of, well, blah. I have School of Rock, another Linklater movie oddly enough, waiting in my PO box from Netflix. It has been my plan all along, all of a day and half, to have my students watch this movie for the, essentially, 2:30 that I am responsible for them tomorrow. Yeah, there's the occasional swear, yeah there's some beer drinking in it, yeah Jack Black is a borderline pedophile, but so what? It's about school and rock music. At least once a week there's something that happens in my class that reminds me of that movie. And, yes, there are so many days where I just want to, a la Jack Black, say to my kids "just go have recess, all day." I think it's going to be a hit and many of the students have already seen it. And is that irate parent who is angry at me for exposing his precious little tot to such horrific content going to remember me in the fall, back when I'll begin to care again?

The last day of school is upon me. I have a feeling I won't know what to do with myself for a couple of days once it's done. I'll be busy with the dogs, with cleaning out my classroom, with, what's that? Time to ride my bike???!!! What a novel idea! To ride a bicycle. Apparently, this technique vastly improves racing performance and potential. Who knew? To update my loyal follower, I am not sure where I stand with the BUMPS series this year. You see, I had not anticipated a year as a teacher would stand up there against any of the challenges provided by the hill climb series' courses. Actually, teaching was much harder and much more rewarding. Whiteface is this weekend, a good opener for the BUMPS series because of its length and its ease into the steepness factor that later climbs provide. It's also late in the day so you can get other stuff done before you head over to the Wilmington, NY, mountain. I won't be doing that race this year. A good friend of mine, a bike racer and ex-teammate, Nick Bennette, is getting married to his long time girlfriend, Carrie, in Shrewsbury, VT. Not too far away. Julie's coming with me and her good friend lives right down the road from the wedding so we'll have a place to stay.

Next weekend is Okemo. I plan on doing this race. Julie's parents are coming up from Asheville, NC, to spend some time with her, to camp and, apparently, to see me race. WHAT? I guess I'd better start training. No, I'm not in that bad of shape, but I do need to tighten up the screws. Still not sure about Newton's Revenge. I've got to say that I really don't care to spend $300 to support the Tin Mountain Conservation group. There are plenty more worthy causes that I'd rather donate money to than that one. And why is Mt. Washington, the exact same race, an extra $50? Name recognition. That's all it is. Which tells me that no expenses or donations matrix has been applied to these races. All it tells me is that the Tin Mountain people simply charge what they want to because they can.

I'll still probably end up doing Washington, but only because I'll have to to compete for the BUMPS overall. After Newton's, the next is Ascutney. I can't do that race but I don't quite remember why right now. I might be able to race up Equinox; the schedule seems clear at this point. Mt. Washington we discussed. And then there's Burke which is in conflict with my beloved Green Mountain Stage Race. You lose out, Burke. Greylock, meh. And Allen Clark might happen, if I'm still feeling at all peppy that late in the season.

What I really want to do is, for once in the past 10 years, just to go for a long, hard bike ride without thinking about how it'll affect my training and racing performance. I live in perhaps the most beautiful state in which to ride a road bike and I've often found it sad that I've never come to really appreciate this. I'm always training, listening to music, focusing on my cadence, my breathing, how gosh darn steep this or that road is. It's tiring. I'm starting to feel like I just want to ride.

That just might be what I'll do.