Alice Cooper Won't Shut Up!

Remember that scene in Richard Linklater's 1993 masterpiece Dazed and Confused when the school year finally ends in anonymous town Texas in 1976? You know, the final bell rings, kids throw their books at their teachers, paper suddenly blasts off into the air as if struck by two sticks of dynamite, the school doors stay ajar as moppy-haired kids wearing polo shirts and bell bottoms leap and scream in delight at the potential of freedom provided by three months off for summer break. Remember that? Well, that's not at all what it's actually like.

February Lynskey Helix OS Special at The Bike Center

The top of the line Helix OS racing frameset made by titanium specialist Lynskey (and the frame of choice of yours truly) is on sale this month at Middlebury, Vermont's, The Bike Center!  Normally $4195 gets you just the OS frame in bare satin finish, but with this special pricing you get a hand-brushed frame, and Enve (formerly Edge) 2.0 fork, and a 100 ZS 44mm headset.  Click here for details

Still Kickin'

25 degrees here, a couple of fluffy inches there, what color wax do I use on my skate skis today?  All fitting observations for a motivated cyclist in training, right?  Eh, no.  Okay.  My first race is a good four months away and honestly, I'm thinking more about report cards due in late January and how I'm going to explain the dog vomit spewed into my car's rear seat latch mechanism by my otherwise healthy, happy and beautiful dog, Ellie.  Winter has been in and out so far this year, like many recent years.  And, like many recent years, it has me regretting not buying a Prius one day and opting for the V6 whatever the next.  Okay, no, I'm not that shortsighted.  It is almost debilitatingly frustrating when you ski in 22" of snow one day and then three days later it's rainy and 75% gone.  Add to that that you have to drive back from vacation to go be a teacher again and, arrgh, I swear I had thoughts of driving straight into one of many endless groves of spruce trees and ending it all.  But I digress....

'Tis the Season...

...of a skier/cyclist's discontent.  I'm staring out the nose-imprinted windows of my classroom at a partly cloudy sky and a very mild-looking block of warmth.  It's nearly 70 outside and it's the end of October in the mountains of Vermont.  Just three days ago there was enough frost on the roads to make biking down the gaps a deadly endeavor.  It's these flip-flop weather patterns that drive me nuts this time of year, almost more so than a January thaw or a July cold snap.  One moment the weather taunts my yearning to wear my ski boots around the house in an effort to stave off early season shin bang.  I've even brought my skis in for a stone grind the second weekend of October (very early for me).  The next moment, however, I'm shedding the leg warmers, removing the fleece cap from beneath my helmet, and considering only wearing a jersey with arm warmers and maybe a vest.  Mother Nature is continuously trying to convince me to practice polygamy:

Appalachian Gap'd at the Allen Clark Memorial Hill Climb

24:27.  32 seconds faster than the previous Allen Clark Hill Climb record set by Stefan Bumbeck in god knows when.  Unofficial records seem to indicate the the record stood for 12 years.  Do the math.  Okay, I'll do it for you.  1998!  I was a freshman in college in the fall of 1998.  Wow!  Back in the fall of Elliott Smith's XO, which played on repeat in my 1992 model JVC stack stereo my dad purchased for me for my birthday in 1992, when I was in seventh grade.  Man, that stereo sounded so great.  Thanks, dad.  Anyway...

Thank You, Steven Slater, For Your Inspiration To Update My Blog And For Having A Great Character Name For A 1980's Movie

I have no excuses for not posting for 20 days.  Except that I had a final interview with the school board at the Ripton Elementary School for the grades 5/6 teacher, I got the job, I've had issues with my endorsement areas and therefore my qualifications as a teacher of all subjects, I've gotten the go-ahead with the contract signing and paperwork, I've gotten a key to the school and I've brought my dogs into the classroom as of today to help make me feel at home.

Just one of those weekends...

Here I'm radioing to the laws of physics: "Please make this pain stop!"

 

Six days after my first ascent up Mount Washington on a bicycle, which resulted in a second place finish, I took the biggest beating of my hill climbing career on Mount Ascutney.  Being the BUMPS point series overall leader, I received a super neat polka-dot jersey before the race start.  Much to my chagrin, I did not do my new tunic victorious justice.  In cycling, there's a myth of the curse of the World Champion.  The person who wins the World Championships, either in the road race or time trial disciplines, has a horrendous season the following year.  Perhaps there is a curse of the BUMPS polka-dot jersey?  I doubt it.  Besides, I think the jersey's pretty cool and would be really disappointed if I was defrocked of my lordship of the hill climbs.

2nd at Newton's Revenge (the first climb of the summer up Mount Washington)!

I will post more soon, but I'll have you know that I finished in second place today at the Mount Washington Hill Climb called Newton's Revenge.  Garmin-Transitions Tom Danielson won, and, let's face it, kicked my butt.  He missed beating his record time set in 2002 of 49:24 by nine seconds!  And, he raced it on his training bike, with training wheels, a powermeter, and a 39t chainring.  Crazy.  Anyway, after today's success, I should have a sizable lead in the BUMPS hill climb series, since my competition finished well off the pace in 10th.  Pics and a complete story soon.  Promise.

Weighted down by bronze

Okay, okay, I'll start out with the prerequisite "it's been way too long since I've last updated the blog."  It's been way too long since I've last updated the blog.  Since we last spoke, I've raced two hill climbs, Whiteface and Okemo, New York and Vermont.  While I wish I could report better news, I'm afraid I've got some lackluster results to share.  I got third place overall in both races, second in my age group at Whiteface, first at Okemo.

Game On.

And so it begins...

Saturday, June 19, 5:30pm Whiteface Hill Climb

Three days 'til the season kicks off...

...and I've got a cold.  Yeah!  I attended a middle school graduation on Tuesday and woke up with a headache and a really snotty nose.  The timing couldn't be worse with the Whiteface Hill Climb just days away on what is supposed to be a beautiful and hot June day in upstate New York.  I had always planned on recon riding the course but I never could make it over to Wilmington.

Green Mountain Bike Club Crit

I can't sprint.  In fact, your chances would be pretty good to bet on a gerbil on a wheel sprinting faster than me.  I work on sprinting sometimes.  I go out, try to look composed as I "power" my bike faster and faster along the road's shoulder.  I must look ridiculous for so much body motion and effort, for me, only leads to a top ground speed of maybe 31mph if the wind is right.  Whew!  I'm winded just thinking about it.  Sprinting.  Yuck.

A couple of quickies

First off, a HUGE congratulations to Mr. Ted King for finishing his second Giro d'Italia!  No, not some hackneyed, American, junior, amateur version of a giro.  No, I'm talking about the real deal, the big dance, er, il grande ballo.  Way to go, Ted!  I remember when I could stay in front of you in collegiate mountain bike races...for 24 seconds.  For those of you who don't know, Ted is a New England native, a Middlebury College alum, and a great reciter of lines from the movie Dumb and Dumber.  He's an all around great guy. 

What's that elephant doing in the living room?

Okay.  I'm going to do what very few other cycling-related blogs are occupying themselves with these past few days and refrain from talking about Flance Landstrong.  Who cares what I think?  I know neither of the guys nor do I feel like I can even make an educated guess about who did what to whom, etc.  It'll sort itself out...someday.

vermont gluten free

I told my mom years ago that she ought to start her own gluten-free bakery.  No store-bought product came close to the breads, cookies, brownies, and cakes she was making me.  Of course, it's no surprise since she can make even dandelion greens taste good.  She's an amazing painter, too, her true calling in life, which is one very good reason why she never went into the baking business.  Her painting is the gluten-free community's loss.  Oh well.  At least she still makes incredible blueberry cake for me when I visit.

Clearly, I need more pictures

With so much eye candy at my disposal, I am ashamed to admit I can barely share any of it with you visually.  So far, these posts have been rather wordy and, alas, so, too, this one will be.  But I'd like you to get a taste of what kind of bike bling I was fondling today.

Lynskey Helix OS Specials for May

http://www.lynskeyperformance.com/a/pages/lynskey-titanium-bicycles-for-sale---promotional-specials.php

Happy May!

I woke up to 5" of heavy snow and 34 degrees on Wednesday morning.  Yes, just this past Wednesday morning, as in April 28, just three days from May.  Today, Saturday, May 1, temps got up to nearly 80 degrees and all but a few pathetic piles of shaded snow remain from Wednesday's interesting weather.

I did some more gap climbing today.  The training is going okay, considering I'm nearly (though, not really) done with all of my school work.  I'm feeling much better on the climbs and can tell my body is getting used to recovering while climbing.  A month ago, I was a sweating, wheezing, crying mess trying to get my pasty carcass over Appalachian, Brandon, or Middlebury Gaps.

Here's a beautiful image.

Suck it, April 28.

School

Maybe, just maybe by the end of today, I'll be done with my work and I'll be done with this semester.  And then I can ride my bike and have a life again.

So, Charles, just what the heck is this all about anyway? 2010 Schedule.

At the end of the 2009 season, I decided to call it quits.  I had been racing in the pro/1/2's since 2005, on the road since 2002, and competed in my first mountain bike race in 1994.  It's been a long, amazing, un/productive, memorable, incredible ride.